What is your favorite memory of a grandparent?

     Like tiny Polaroid snapshots, memories of my grandparents are embedded in my mind forever; none of them are particularly monumental nor would they inspire the world, but they mean the world to me, and they in part make me who I am.

      How do I pick one favorite memory?  I cherish all of my grandparents and there are so many wonderful memories, but I can only choose one moment to recount today.  After careful consideration I chose to write about a moment that I shared with my grandmother 15 years ago.  My grandmother lived near by and I saw her often but quality time and serious conversations weren't a part of our repertoire as my college and work schedules didn't allow me to spend much time with her.  There was one day; however, that I felt closer to her than ever; the day we took a road trip together would be a day I would really get to know her.  Our destination was <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /?>Union, New Jersey, where her sisters lived, which coincidentally was where my boyfriend lived as well.  It was the first of many more trips we would come to take to New Jersey together, but still remains my favorite.  The trip only took about an hour, but we managed to discuss much of her lifetime in the span of that hour.  I am not sure what brought on the deep conversation, nor do I know what I said to cause her to open up a diary of her years, but I do know that it completely changed my perspective on many things.   At first we spoke generally, but somehow our focus turned to her and so much of her life.  She spoke about her wedding day as if she were wearing still wearing that beautiful dress, about my grandfather who had passed, and their happy times.   She spoke about the death of her brother at a young age and how it devastated her, and she spoke of the death of her mother and how grateful she was to be at her side when she crossed over.  She began to open up about the many mistakes she felt she had made in her life.  She wiped a tear from her eye when recounting how she had dropped out of high school because she didn't think she was smart enough to finish.  She talked of mistakes she had made in raising my dad and his sister, and how had given them the wrong advice and either stepped in when she shouldn't have and didn't step in when she should have.  Until then, I never realized how badly she felt about herself.   I couldn't imagine how she felt living with such feelings of guilt, and failure--it must have crushed her to the core of her being.  The saddest part is she didn't know just how wonderful she was, and just how much she was appreciated by her family.  She had no idea how much they learned from her, and how she helped them to grow as people.  Her decisions for her children shaped who they became.  For the remainder of the trip, I began to recount the many ways she had done right by her children.  I assured her they understood and had forgiven her.  She looked at me with watery eyes and I knew that she appreciated my listening and my attempt at healing the pain.  I quickly began to take the conversation in a more positive direction by reminding her of the times when she would take my brother and I down the block to the bay and we would catch minnows with a milk container tied to some string, and how when we were just toddlers she would pull us around the living room in the plastic laundry basket for a wagon.  It's amazing how the greatest things in a child's eyes are things that were done on the spur of the moment and cost nothing to play.  We had a greater relationship after that weekend.  I am not sure if she heard all of what I said then, but I know she was listening when I spoke a 6 page eulogy about how amazing she was when she passed away last summer. As I cried my way through that eulogy I felt her lifting me up, giving me the strength to finish.  As I looked out at my family and friends I knew they too agreed with each and every word I had said.  She knows now how wonderful she was-- She knows now.