Gold Canyon Candley Giveaway

     Because Mom Said So is giving away a Gold Canyon Candle and car freshener to one lucky reader!  To enter all you need to do is visit http://becausemomsaidso.com/gold-canyon-candles-oh-my-goodness-gorgeous-goodies-review-and-giveaway/   and enter a comment to be entered to win.  One winner will be chosen using random.org and will then get to choose their favorite Gold Canyon Candle Scent.  Gold Canyon Candles are wonderfully fragrant--so stop in to enter for your chance to win the set!

And The Winner is:

Good Morning all,  I am happy to announce that I have actually won the mommy - blogging contest over at profitablemommyblogging.com.  I need to thank the ladies who took a moment to head over there to vote for me.  THANKS girls!   I had pretty much thought I lost, but apparently there were hundreds of votes for the other girls that had to be thrown out because they were duplicate votes, or votes from the same IP address.  I was completely shocked when I won! 

   Here is what I won:  A 4 year old blog called Because Mom Said So which is in the process of being refurbished for me.  They loaded it with a bunch of affiliate articles and links so that I can actually (potentially) make money with the site.  Right now, April from Rock Star Blog Designs is creating some headers and backgrounds for me to choose from based on descriptions I gave her.  I have to say-It is exciting having this opportunity but I am floundering trying to figure out all the wordpress stuff.  I finally figured out how to add buttons-yay me.  But the important stuff such as adsense and feedburner is proving tricky.  I think I should hire a professional to teach me.  Lord knows it takes hours to research the help guides for word press! 

     For those of you who are stay at home moms who are looking for ideas or trying to find work at home options, you should check out the site's WAHM Tab for lots of resources.  Profitable Mommy Blogging loaded lots of articles on there for my readers.    Of course the site isn't completely finished ---as I said, but the info is there for the reading, minus the new decorations!   I would love it if you took a click over some time.

http://www.becausemomsaidso.com

Hot Wheels Jurassic Starter Set--A Review

The Hot Wheels Jurrasic Starter Set, is it Worth Your Money?

My 3 year old and I were browsing the toy section of our local store this morning looking for something new and fun to bring home and play with together. After about 20 minutes of looking at ALL of the toys, he decided that he wanted the Jurassic Starter Set by Hot Wheels. I had seen the advertisement for it on television and decided that it looked like a good choice. He sat so nicely in the wagon in awe of his soon to be new toy and we of course purchased it and brought it home.

What is your favorite memory of a grandparent?

     Like tiny Polaroid snapshots, memories of my grandparents are embedded in my mind forever; none of them are particularly monumental nor would they inspire the world, but they mean the world to me, and they in part make me who I am.

      How do I pick one favorite memory?  I cherish all of my grandparents and there are so many wonderful memories, but I can only choose one moment to recount today.  After careful consideration I chose to write about a moment that I shared with my grandmother 15 years ago.  My grandmother lived near by and I saw her often but quality time and serious conversations weren't a part of our repertoire as my college and work schedules didn't allow me to spend much time with her.  There was one day; however, that I felt closer to her than ever; the day we took a road trip together would be a day I would really get to know her.  Our destination was <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /?>Union, New Jersey, where her sisters lived, which coincidentally was where my boyfriend lived as well.  It was the first of many more trips we would come to take to New Jersey together, but still remains my favorite.  The trip only took about an hour, but we managed to discuss much of her lifetime in the span of that hour.  I am not sure what brought on the deep conversation, nor do I know what I said to cause her to open up a diary of her years, but I do know that it completely changed my perspective on many things.   At first we spoke generally, but somehow our focus turned to her and so much of her life.  She spoke about her wedding day as if she were wearing still wearing that beautiful dress, about my grandfather who had passed, and their happy times.   She spoke about the death of her brother at a young age and how it devastated her, and she spoke of the death of her mother and how grateful she was to be at her side when she crossed over.  She began to open up about the many mistakes she felt she had made in her life.  She wiped a tear from her eye when recounting how she had dropped out of high school because she didn't think she was smart enough to finish.  She talked of mistakes she had made in raising my dad and his sister, and how had given them the wrong advice and either stepped in when she shouldn't have and didn't step in when she should have.  Until then, I never realized how badly she felt about herself.   I couldn't imagine how she felt living with such feelings of guilt, and failure--it must have crushed her to the core of her being.  The saddest part is she didn't know just how wonderful she was, and just how much she was appreciated by her family.  She had no idea how much they learned from her, and how she helped them to grow as people.  Her decisions for her children shaped who they became.  For the remainder of the trip, I began to recount the many ways she had done right by her children.  I assured her they understood and had forgiven her.  She looked at me with watery eyes and I knew that she appreciated my listening and my attempt at healing the pain.  I quickly began to take the conversation in a more positive direction by reminding her of the times when she would take my brother and I down the block to the bay and we would catch minnows with a milk container tied to some string, and how when we were just toddlers she would pull us around the living room in the plastic laundry basket for a wagon.  It's amazing how the greatest things in a child's eyes are things that were done on the spur of the moment and cost nothing to play.  We had a greater relationship after that weekend.  I am not sure if she heard all of what I said then, but I know she was listening when I spoke a 6 page eulogy about how amazing she was when she passed away last summer. As I cried my way through that eulogy I felt her lifting me up, giving me the strength to finish.  As I looked out at my family and friends I knew they too agreed with each and every word I had said.  She knows now how wonderful she was-- She knows now.

What do you remember most about your dad?

     What do you remember most about your dad?  I am trying to remember one fond memory of my dad-a day that stands out and up against every other memory of my dad.  My dad is still alive, so when I say memory I just mean times passed that I have spent with him.  So here is the thing:  I can't really remember one completely amazing moment because we had SO MANY wonderful ones.  I guess I am just having trouble picking just one.  From my childhood I remember him pulling my brother and I on the sled in the snow-covered street infront of our house and going camping with him and mom.  I remember the way he would smell of oil after work, and I remember him carrying me into the house at night after he and mom picked us up from our grandparent's house after he and mom had a date night.  Sometimes I pretended to be asleep just so he would carry me in.  I remember the smell of his Old Spice as he hoisted me into his arms and carried me up the steps of the house.   I remember being at the Twin Islands camprground for weeks at a time with mom and Michael while dad was home working so that we had such wonderful places to go.  I remember him getting up to the country house and greeting him with a hug and kiss and saying:  Do you have any quarters?  My brother and I always hit him up for quarters after we had tapped mom out.  Looking back on it now, I wish I had been less of a teenager, and more of a daddy's girl who would just sit with him a while and tell him I missed him (because I did).  I remember him taking me to a daddy and daughter dance-He was so handsome and such a great date.  I wish all boys measured up.  I remember dancing with him at my wedding.  We cried the whole time-it was terribly sweet.  I remember him holding my son for the first time and how the water just welled up in his eyes.  I remember the time he yelled at me and I peed my pants--one of the very very very few times I was ever yelled at by him.   I remember the times when he wanted to say something--but never did, out of respect for me.  I remember how proud he was of me each time I graduated and I remember feeling happy that I had always had his love and support.  I remember the times when he DID speak up on my behalf and I remember the way the boy NEVER looked my way again.  I remember Dad today with all of the love in my heart and I thank God that I still have him in my life.  I thank God for the wonderful relationship we have and will always have.  I pray that each person who reads this takes the time to remember all of the big things and the little things about their dads EVERY DAY and that you remember to tell them how precious they are to you. 

     For those of you have lost dad, always remember the good times and don't dwell on the bad (if there are any).  In Heaven all things are forgotten and all are forgiven.  There are no grudges, and no hard feelings.    Memories keep our loved ones close and they are always with us.  Take the time to talk to your dad-he will listen. 

     Let us all remember the dads who are fighting for our country overseas and who will not be able to see their children for Father's day.  I pray that they come home safely and soon to the loving arms of their families.  

      Happy Father's Day to all.    I love you Dad.  Love, Cheryl

Help! I'm suffering from Cinderella Syndrome!

     There are so many young women who envision the happily ever after as depicted in those beloved Disney fairy tales.    Which one did you identify with?  Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty?  Many women planning their wedding choose to follow the Cinderella theme, the glass slipper, the horse drawn coach, the full ball gown, everything depicting a true princess. I too had the fairytale visions of life and the happily everafter; the glass slippers, the handsome stud (I mean prince), and the way we'd ride off on his well-groomed steed.  I am happy to say, I did have my dream wedding; my very hansome prince made our wedding day and our honeymoon trip to Aruba very magical.  Everything was wonderful; I loved my dress, I loved our bridal party, I got married in the same church I have loyally attended since childhood, our reception hall was a gorgeous, picturesque establishment and the food was abundant, elaborate, and delicious; we really did have the fairy tale I had dreamed about.

     We settled into a fixer upper which at times felt like a nightmare rather than a dream come true, where we still live today.  It is small, but it is home to myself, my prince and our two boys ages 5 and 3.  I have what I always wanted, the house, the husband, the kids, my health, God's grace--the fairytale. 

     Like many women though, (and men as well--I am sure) sometimes I forget that I do have a wonderful life and that everything is a blessing.  I have to remember this when I am having a mommy-meltdown-moment--As hard as it is, I have to remember that this was my dream and this is what I prayed for. 

     Somewhere down the line I, like millions of other women, traded in my glass slippers for fuzzy ones.  I traded my lovely wedding up-do for greasy, once in awhile washed hair that is usually up in a pony tail or beneath a baseball cap.  I traded my gown in for the everyday jeans and sensible shirt that I won't really care if it gets cheese doodle on or, in a worst case scenario, vomit.  Somewhere down the line my prince turned into the belching, grunting, ogre named Shrek and I into the fair, green, not so gorgeous Fiona.  My children are a combination of all seven dwarves: Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Bashful, Sneezy, Happy, and especially Grumpy, yep they are all here.  I even have a few of my own new names for my dwarves at times such as:  vommity, boogery, bratty, freshy, know it all, and Stingey.  Happily there are many positive dwarves living in my home too like:  Kissy, Huggy, Ticklish, Lovey, Baby, Funny, Joy, and Blessing.  Guess what- this too is my fairytale.  It may not have been the vision I had when I was younger, but it makes me happy to be a mom. 

     Ah the fairy tale, the princess lifestyle, how sweet it all seemed. No mortgage payments, no car bills, no real job, the ability to sleep forever (a favorite of mine).  Those ladies had it all--in the end.  Come to think of it though, I should have been prepared for the dicey stuff, we all should have been prepared.  I should have realized that to achieve that fairytale ending, the princesses had to overcome extreme obstacles, the wicked step mothers, stepsisters, fire breathing dragons, the poison apples, scrubbing the floors on hands and knees, waiting on others as if you are the house maid, the seven dwarves each with their own lil unique personality,  It was all there.  Why didn't I see it?  Maybe I blocked it out, who knows.  Perhaps these tales do actually teach us a lesson or two afterall.  Perhaps we are meant to learn that we are stronger than we realize and that we are meant to pick ourselves up in times of trial and to endure all with great self pride and worth.  For when we do overcome the obstacles, both big and small, it makes the victory even more magical.   So I say to all of the mommys out there who are suffering from Cinderella Syndrome (which is what I call the desire to have that fairytale come true) sit back and enjoy the symptoms.  Your fairytale has come true mommy, your fairytale has come true.  

     God Bless all the mommys and daddys out there who deal with the mundane, the crying, the bills, the not so wonderful stuff and keep going for the sake of their children.  You will be blessed and your reward is great in the eyes of God.  Your children do appreciate you and love you although they may not know how to show it.  They will learn how to appreciate you on a higher level just as you have learned to appreciate yours.  Hang in there and may you be a blessing and a role model to others. 

     Send this to anyone you think needs to be reminded that life is a dream come true.    

Mommy's need playdates too

     For about the first year of my son Ryan's life, I spent my every waking, and sometimes sleeping, moment with him.  From sun up to sundown, through the wee evening hours and before the rooster's crow, my life revolved around him.  We all know that having a baby is a life altering event, but until you are actually a mom, you have absolutely no idea just how much of yourself you will be giving up.  I didn't mind giving up my former self--not very much anyway.  Okay, I am telling a lie, there were days that I minded very much.  I wanted to go shopping by myself and spoil myself with a nice warm cup of coffee in a caf, but my fear of leaving my son with anyone other than my mom was terrifying to me.  I could not let go of my baby.  So, what was a mom like me to do?  I did what all moms like me do:  I brought him everywhere I went. We had a ball together; it was great; really it was, so why was I feeling so blah?  Was it because my appearance was not what it once was?  Was it lack of sex?  Was it feeling like I wasn't doing enough for myself?   Was it guilt because I wanted to do more without my son?  Was it the fact that Ryan, whom I love with all my heart, had become so dependant on me and needed me every second of the day and night was exhausting me mentally, physically, and emotionally?  I guess it was a combination of everything and more.   I had done this to myself--I know I did.  I should have let go earlier, I should have made it a priority to slowly expose Ryan to other people starting at week one to make him a stronger kid and less dependant on me, but I didn't and now I was paying for it. 

      Sound familiar mommies?  Most moms will feel this way at some point in their life, the key to preventing yourself from losing yourself completely may be as simple as this:   Join some type of organized play-group like Mommy and Me or a Gymboree class, or   befriend a mom from the neighborhood and set up a day to get together with your children.  Moms need play-dates just as much as kids do, if not more-so.  Here's why:   Because Moms deserve to be with someone over 24 inches tall who they can communicate with.  It is important to share the trials and the triumphs of being a mom with other women; play-groups and play-dates foster these symbiotic friendships in both moms and children.  Don't be surprised when you find out that most moms are feeling the same way you are; everyone is going through the same thing.   Being a mom is wonderful most of the time, but there are those days when you want to press the pause button and take a mommy time-out.  There is no shame in having the negative feelings either, don't be afraid to say:  I feel overworked, underpaid, overstressed, sleep-deprived, emotional and drained.  Chances are the other mom will say:  "Thank God, I thought I was the only one!"  If you find a mom who says:  I never feel like that--YOU HIT THE JACKPOT!  Ask her what her secret is and send it to me!  She must have Super Nanny Joe Frost on the payroll. 

     For those of you who are rolling your eyes and saying, oh please, gimme' a break-play-dates, who needs them;  I must say:  I too used to feel that way about organized play dates, but that was before I found a group that I clicked with. Don't give up on the idea until you have exhausted your possibilities; believe me, its worth it when you find that one mom you instantly feel "gets you".   It is essential to your success and sanity.  If a group doesn't suit you or one mom doesn't share your values and likes, move on. 

     When Ryan was a year and a half I changed my negative stance on organized play.  A friend of mine who was very much into the social aspect of motherhood took me to a mommy and me group at a church which I enjoyed, but found a little bit too unorganized (which isn't usually the case--they are usually run very well). In their defense though, they were just starting the program and trying to work out the kinks.   After that, I decided to join a program closer to my own home.  By the end of the first session, I was saying:  Why didn't I do this sooner?  Ryan loved it.  Apparently I am not as fun as I thought I was.   He walked through that door, saw all those toys and the other children and I could swear I heard Angels singing and the gates of a heavenly place swinging open to welcome us.  We had found our perfect playgroup-- Here's why:  1.   The class started at 10:00 a.m., the perfect time as it gave me time to gather myself together and didn't interfere with naptime.  2.  It gave me a reason to want to fix myself up -someplace to go, WOO HOO!  3.  I met other women who were going through the same things as I was, and thus I was able to gage how I was measuring up.  I wasn't failing miserably, in fact, I was doing pretty darn well-We all were.   4.  Although Ryan and I had always done educational things together, the woman running the class became the platform for his future education.  The structure and the interpersonal experiences he received there helped him get ready for future pre-k programs.   5.  It gave Ryan the ability to separate from me and learn to trust other moms and the teacher, even if it was just a bit, it was a start.   I strongly recommend joining a playgroup and organizing your own play-dates, it will definitely get you through those days when you just don't think you can make it on your own.  Enjoy your time with your children and make new friends. Happy playing.